Moving mayhem!

I have now moved interstate twice in the past 7 months and it has certainly tested my faith in the idea of "everything happens for a reason!".

Moving from Sydney to Brisbane last October was difficult and quite stressful but also a little exciting at the idea of new possibilities and starting fresh.  I left behind family, friends, a great support system, a home and a successful business, and landed in a very wet and incessantly raining Queensland.....isn't it meant to be the Sunshine State?

The grief I found myself experiencing upon our departure was years in the making....a release of so much 'stuff'.

 My husband, 2 year old and I stayed in a 1 bedroom TINY apartment for 4 weeks, with my son constantly asking after family members and his friends back home.  This constantly added to my grieving and questioning of if I had done the right thing by him?!?!

We found a larger home, took a lease and started to get settled.  Sure, loneliness and homesickness ensued however we plodded along and constantly re-adjusted our perspectives as need be to keep our minds positive and our hearts uplifted. Our son started daycare which he loved and our circle of friends widened.

Shortly after new year I was faced with the heartbreaking reality of finalising my business in Sydney, ending a long treasured partnership with someone who I valued as a great friend and ally.  This sadly (as many do) ended sourly when the question of money was raised with differing opinions, and I found myself not only losing a friendship and passionately built business, but also undergoing hurtful and nasty correspondence which was certainly not in the manner in which the business was started and conducted.  This sent me into quite a spin and tested my beliefs and the way I handle myself greatly.  I handed all correspondence over to my kind and supportive husband who very stoically acted on my behalf.  I would love to say that I am past this now, however there is still some bitterness left in my taste buds....I'm working on it!  But needless to say I am at the point where I can certainly see the benefit in having ensued the drama!

In January the devastating Queensland floods struck and I feel so blessed that we were safe and didn't lose anything.  We watched from afar as people's lives and belongings were lost in places outside of Brisbane.  As the floods moved closer we became more and more aware of our situation, living in New Farm VERY close to the river.  On the day New Farm was evacuated, the army was out in our street asking people to leave.  With a very small child and having no idea of how bad the floods were going to get and with nowhere else to go we decided to get on a plane back to Sydney....we left our home and suburb just as the roads were being closed off by police, as the water was rising.

We sat the week out in Sydney (feeling a little bit like we'd betrayed Brisbane in her time of need) and returned to a very soggy and solemn Brisbane.  The supermarket was sparse, the roads were covered in river silt and the stories and pictures being were horrific, yet we arrived to a dry and untouched home.  Both ends of our street went under yet somehow we were spared any damage.  The greatest feeling of gratitude It think I have ever encountered.

Shortly after the flood my husband fell quite badly ill needing a visit to hospital which once again emphasised the change in our support network...carting a barely conscious husband and fevering 2 year old to the hospital at 4am in the morning......I really needed my mum! or at least someone i felt comfortable to call at that time of day to come and mind my son and be a shoulder to cry on.  It certainly helped me find my strength. 

While he was still recovering he was let go from his company, and all of a sudden we found ourselves having picked up our family, moved interstate, taken a lease, starting to try and put down some roots...at least for the sake of our child...and now with no source of income.  My, how the universe tests us!!!

This was really the icing on the cake and could have very well have been the straw that broke the camel's back, however, interestingly enough I found myself trusting implicitly in my guidance; in the fact that this certainly was happening for some reason....at that point I had no idea what?!?!  In hindsight, what I had been through and was going through was nowhere near as bad as some, however in my somewhat sheltered and precious life it seemed like it was a never ending process of hurdles and challenges......

I wanted to fall apart, crawl under my rock and never, ever wake up.

It forced my husband and I to 'dig in', to think about what matters to us and what we want to create for our son....to lead by example and create a strong and prosperous future for him.

We had both fallen in love with Brisbane...the pace, the people, the vibe.....it suited us implicitly...however from a work perspective the opportunities weren't being offered to my husband in terms of his career which at this point is funding our life....so to speak.

He ended up with 5 job offers....3 in Sydney and 2 in Brisbane...and one of those in Sydney was 'stand out'.  The hard decision was made to move back.

Once the decision was made I found myself increasingly depressed.  Struggling with saying goodbye to all that I had discovered and created in Brisbane.  Saying goodbye to a city which had welcomed me and my family, nourished and protected us and in which I had felt free and hopeful and independent and strong for the first time in so long.  Saying goodbye to friends which had been so nurturing and supportive through so much.

I had really struggled to leave Sydney and all that was there, however I had relied on my faith and strength and really created a wonderful life for myself and my family in Brisbane....away from the bad memories of the past, away from the hurt and trauma of painful memories.  And even though it had been scary and stressful, I had done it and I was proud of myself and had started really enjoying life. 

So what now?  Back to the same old same old?  Yet, with no job and my apparent professional reputation in the mud?  Not particularly inviting!

Hubby had started work a few weeks prior to moving and was LOVING his new job....good for him!  But what about me? And our child?

Well here I sit.....10 days into our arrival back in Sydney....back into our 80sqm unit (compared to our 3 storey QLD abode).....back to the same old same old.....however without my outlet of work/business/passion...

I'm once again working at changing my perspective....as I know, my thoughts create myr reality....so therefore.....seeing the 'new' situation as an 'opportunity' for new growth, changes, excitement.

Don't get me wrong....I would rather be in my riverside abode in New Farm....but at the moment that isn't where I am meant to be....so for now...I will embrace that which I have and that which I am eternally grateful for....the health and wellbeing of my family, my wonderful friends and the gift of the journey in which I have taken to get me where I am today....and the anticipation of knowing that the journey is far from over.